One Year Later

In May 2013, I moved to Colorado Springs for a three-month internship. Seven months later, that internship ended and I had no choice but to move back home to New York to ride out my unemployment.

In January 2014 -- only a month after I moved home -- I moved back to Colorado springs for a four-month job. Five months later, that job ended. Then I was unemployed for a month and a half, and then I got another temporary job. And five and a half months into that job, here we are.

A year ago this week, I moved into my apartment. My roommate was initially hesitant about letting me live with her because I was only here for a temporary job. I assured her that the goal was to find something permanent, that I may be moving back "temporarily" but that it was 100% my intent to stay.

And a year later, I'm still here. Temporarily.

Over a year and a half after first moving out here, and with no imminent plans to move anywhere else -- permanent by most standards -- I'm still here temporarily.

...Yeah, when I pictured my life post-graduation, this wasn't quite part of the plan.

I'm struggling to even find something to say about it, because my feelings are extremely cyclical. I go from "hey, everyone has their own path and this is mine! It's an adventure! I can roll with it!" to lots of bitterness and frustration and expletives that I'll keep off of the internet. And right now I'm definitely on the down end of the cycle. I just have to tell myself this'll be a good story to tell when I'm no longer a temp (which will hopefully be by the time I'm 30, but y'know, no guarantees).

But I guess what all this has taught me is to just loosen up and have a sense of humor about life. I used to take everything so seriously; I hated not knowing where I was going to go to college, I hated not knowing where I was going to be after graduation, etc. Of course, I'd still obviously prefer to know what my life is going to look like several months down the road. But my current job still has no definitive end date (could it be February? May? Some point in between? Later in the year? The world may never know!), and I've gotten to the point where my attitude is "well, whatever, I'll just keep coming to work until someone tells me not to."

Everything's worked out in the past, and it'll continue to work out in the future. And if I've survived unemployment twice, I can survive it again. (...I mean, I don't want to have to. But like, I could.) So if nothing else, I guess I need to be thankful for this long, winding, bumpy journey of mine because it's showed me what I can handle.  And that's a good thing to learn while I'm 23 rather than 43.

Ha, it's unfortunate that we had to hit the one year mark while I'm feeling so grumbly. But maybe that's fitting. My relationship with Colorado Springs has been pretty love-hate up until now, so why should today be any different? But I'll keep fighting to stay here as long as there's hope for me to.

At least I get to look at some pretty sunsets in the meantime!

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