A few years ago, right after my first close-but-no-cigar situation with regards to getting an internship out here, an episode of Castle aired about the murder of an Olympic hopeful swimmer. The night before he was killed, he'd broken up with his high school girlfriend. When they brought her in for questioning she told them about it and howled, "Like suddenly I was a distraction! Suddenly I wasn't good enough for Colorado Springs!" At the time, that line was a reminder of what I hadn't accomplished.
That episode was on TV yesterday. I watched it as I took a break from packing up my room at the very same place that girl was crying about. Considering this is the last blog post I'll write from inside the Olympic Training Center, potentially ever, I appreciate the eerie timing. Now that line is a reminder of what I have accomplished, which is pretty cool.
But I hate lasts. I hate leaving. I hate goodbyes that hang. Not "bye, but I'll see you in a few months!" but "uh, I'll see you again sometime in the future, probably, right? Maybe...?" And that's what this is. You'd think I'd be better at this by now. I've figured out how to get some sort of closure on a chapter of my life before ending it, but does anyone know how to make it, y'know, hurt less?
It's always the little things that sneak up and make me nostalgic out of nowhere. Of course I'll miss the beautiful views of the mountains, living with an awesome built-in network of other interns, unlimited swipes into the dining hall, walking around the OTC and thinking about who has trained here in the past, the fact that it's acceptable to be friendly to strangers, and of course my amazing internship.
But I know I'm also going to miss things like waving at the security guards as I pull into the OTC. I got my parking pass back before my internship was extended, so it expired on August 31... and when I got extended, I never got another one. The security guards already knew me and my car, so nobody looks at the date on my pass. I'm actually weirdly proud that I managed to never need a new one. I'm going to miss seeing my name on the mail board. I'm going to miss needing to take a running leap to get up onto my bed. I'm going to miss microwaving water to make tea in the lounge. I'm going to miss my classic rock radio station, the one that was playing in my car the very first time I turned it on. I'm going to miss knowing Charlie is approaching my cubicle because I hear the telltale sound of him dribbling his volleyball. And shoot, I might have to start getting coffee from McDonald's just to keep those styrofoam cups in my life.
Why? WHY? Does anyone else get so hopelessly attached to places and the familiarity that goes along with with your life in them? I've always been like this, and I think that quote up there sums it up. I like the way things are, and I know they'll never be quite the same from this moment forward. In the past that's always ended up being a good thing. Here's hoping that trend continues.
And with that, it's time for me to check out.
Colorado Springs, it's been real. Thanks for seven months I'll never forget.