Showing posts with label what the heck. Show all posts
Showing posts with label what the heck. Show all posts

Jeremy Abbott Is More Awesome Than All Of Us

Now that the Olympic men's figure skating short program has aired both live and in primetime yesterday, I'm assuming that everyone that wanted to see it has seen it. And if you haven't seen it... well, you missed something out of the Twilight Zone. I swear, it was incredibly fitting that I made popcorn right as it was starting. (Yes, that was at around 8 a.m. MT, but when you have breakfast at 5 a.m., three hours later is definitely snack time. Don't judge.)

The craziness began right at the start of the second group of skaters, as four-time Olympic medalist Evgeni Plushenko landed a jump awkwardly in his warm-up and immediately grabbed his back. He was the first skater in that group set to perform and, instead of skating out to center ice, he skated over to the judges. Next thing you knew, he'd withdrawn due to injury and was taking a goodbye bow, his Olympic (and skating) career officially done. What?! He'd been having some issues since the team event long program, but I still felt like I'd been clubbed over the head with a frying pan. Complete and utter shock. In all my years of Olympics-watching, nothing like that has ever happened.

via
But anyway. This post is not being written so I can talk about Plushenko, but just... I'm still shocked. Moving on.

After that, we were all lulled into a false sense of security, assuming that there's no way anything else shocking could happen. I mean, one shocker like that is rare enough, but two? Nah. No way.

And then Jeremy Abbott took the ice.

If you haven't been following U.S. or Olympic figure skating, here's the dealio: Jeremy won U.S. nationals in 2010 (ahead of future Olympic gold medalist Evan Lysacek, no less) to make the Olympic team, but had a disaster of a short program and finished ninth overall. He finished second at nationals to make the Olympic team for 2014 and, in the team event, had another bad short program to finish seventh out of 10. The hope going into the individual event was that he'd gotten his nerves out and could now skate cleanly. In his own words, he'd now already gotten his Olympic disaster out of the way.

Well, homeboy fell on his first jumping pass in his individual short program. And not just any run-of-the-mill fall, either. I'm talking total wipe-out, right on his hip, careening into the boards, and not immediately getting up. He was down, and he was clearly very badly hurt.

via Yahoo images
I was, first of all, very afraid for him, and I also assumed that was it. Can you medically withdraw in the middle of your program? I don't even know, but that's what I thought would happen. He'd hobble over to the judges and tearfully bow out.

But no. Oh, no. After an agonizing 10 or 15 seconds that felt like it took an hour, Jeremy collected himself, stood up and continued his program. According to good ol' commentators Johnny Weir (literally just typed "Weird" instead of Weir, hahaha. #freudianslip) and Tara Lipinski informed us that, despite his significant time down on the ice, he hadn't missed any of his program's required elements (i.e. jumps, spins, etc.), just some choreography. So he caught up with his music and kept going. I was so nervous as he approached his second jumping pass, I was about ready to vomit... but lo and behold, he landed it. And he landed every other jump he executed.

He was like a different person! Before his program, he was taking deep breaths and visibly trying to get himself mentally ready. But after his fall, you could see in his eyes that he was pissed and determined and ready to raise some hell. And he did.

And guys, I cannot even tell you how completely overwhelmed I was. The amount of respect I have for this guy is unreal. It was so inspiring to see him fight back from what could've (or, really, should've) been utter devastation. This is his last Olympics and he wasn't going to just let it end like that.

It should be a lesson to us all: our flops should never be death knells. Jeremy Abbott went hip-first into the ice and face-first into the boards at the Olympics and got up and finished with his head held high. Didn't accomplish what you wanted to? Well, bummer. Brush the snow off your pants and hit that triple lutz-triple toe combination because, damnit, you can!


As Jeremy was waiting for his scores, I think it was Tara that said, "It may not've been the Olympic moment he'd been hoping for, but he inadvertently created an Olympic moment." Heck yes, he did.

(And then he returned for his long program today and delivered like a CHAMP. Ended his final Olympics on the most positive of notes. I may or may not have gotten a little misty-eyed. You go, Jeremy.)

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Sports Things I Don't Understand

Sports are generally pretty easy to understand. Ball in hoop/puck in net/dude crossing home plate/etc. = points. Athlete/team with most points wins. Or, even easier, athlete/team that crosses line first wins. Simple! Which is why, when the sports world ceases to make sense, it boggles my mind almost more than the thing that doesn't make sense.

photo via
+ The National Baseball Hall of Fame's rules. Every year when voting rolls around, I'm reminded how strange the whole system is. Players are voted on by the baseball writers and must be on at least 75% of ballots to be inducted. Players are on the ballot for 15 years, at which point, if they aren't voted in, they're removed from the ballot. If a player, at any point, receives fewer than 5% of votes, they're removed from the ballot. All of this makes me wish I'd paid better attention in calculus.

Also, if you want to talk about bogus, this year Craig Biggio received votes from 74.8% of writers and wasn't voted in. He was short TWO VOTES! Come on, you can't round up from 74.8 to 75?! What. the. heck? I don't even particularly care about Biggio, but this is ridiculous.

But then -- then! -- there's also the Veterans Committee, that "provides an opportunity for Hall of Fame enshrinement to all individuals who are eligible for induction but ineligible for consideration by the Baseball Writers Association of America (BBWAA)." Checks and balances? What is this, a federal government?

So basically, if the planets are aligned perfectly and there's a solar eclipse and the vote occurs on the third Thursday of the month and you squint and tilt your head a little bit... you have a chance at getting into the hall of fame! Congrats!

+Lithuania's Olympic basketball uniforms in Barcelona 1992. I knew nothing about this until last week, and guys, I'm wondering how this gem has managed to slip through the cracks of history. In 1992, Lithuania was newly separated from the Soviet Union and just about as broke as I am. So they hooked up with a new sponsor: The Grateful Dead. The band. And please, feast your eyes on the glorious product that resulted.

Let's take another look.


How 'bout a close-up on that bad boy?

Lithuania won bronze in 1992, and wore these beauties on the medal podium. At the Olympics. How is this real? But the better question is how is this so awesome?

+"Downs" in football. I don't understand a lot about football, namely why anyone would want to play a sport that will almost definitely lead to ridiculous brain damage, but my issue today lies with downs. More specifically, the use of the word "down." It's all well and good to get four chances to make it a certain number of yards... but why in the whole wide world of vocabulary would someone decide that a team gets four downs to get a first down? Could we, like, maybe pick different words to describe different things? Or does that just make too much sense?

+People think poker is a sport. Seriously. I just... how? It's a game. And I'm sure it's entertaining, if you like that sort of thing, but...

Unless you're saying "the men sported at the poker table" (in which case, god bless), "poker" and "sport" don't really belong together.

+People don't think curling is a sport. Unless you've tried it, you don't know. I went curling once, and...

...that's what my knee looked like afterward. Those bruises remained for about a month and a half. The people you watch curling on TV during the Olympics do it so effortlessly that they sort of make you forget that the surface they're playing on is, uh, ice. So don't hate on curling, 'cause it is difficult and most definitely involves both physical exertion AND skill. (And if you plan on attending a "learn to curl" session in the future, bring kneepads. You're welcome.)

So tell me, readers: is there anything about the sports world that YOU don't understand? Let's be hopelessly confused together.

Venus Trapped in Mars
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