On Perspective And Being Grateful

Totally irrelevant picture. But doesn't it remind you of those one-point perspective projects from middle school art class? I'm just playing with words. ;)

It was finally starting to happen. A little over a month since my job ended, and unemployment was finally starting to wear on me. Even as the ball might've at long last been starting to inch forward in a direction that was to my liking, I was getting bored and impatient and sick with uncertainty about my future.

So when I had the chance to visit the U.S. Olympic Committee headquarters for the first time since my last day of work, I was equal parts excited and wary. I'm a guest now. I don't belong there anymore. I had to take a ticket in the parking garage instead of simply swiping in with my parking pass, because I no longer have my parking pass. On the walk to the building, out of sheer habit I went to check that my ID badge was clipped to my waistband, only to remember that I wasn't wearing my ID badge, because it expired along with my job. And in the lobby, I had to check in with security and get a guest pass and wait for someone to come down and escort me in.

For those of you that have never been there, the lobby of USOC HQ is a pretty cool place for an Olympic geek like myself. There are four TVs that play nothing but Team USA Olympic highlights and montages, and display cases full of memorabilia. So I was sitting on a bench facing the TVs and a display case containing all the Olympic torches since 2006. It was somewhere between admiring the torches (some of which I've held in my own hands) and trying not to get misty-eyed at the Sochi Paralympic montage on one of the TVs that I realized -- holy crap, when did this become my life?

After I was collected from the lobby, I was brought upstairs and got to visit with some old coworkers that I haven't seen in awhile and catch up with them. I wasn't there for very long, but I was welcomed with grins and hugs and encouragement. And again, I was left with this sense of amazement.

Sure, I might have to wear a guest badge and get my parking ticket validated at the security desk. But all that did was help me realize how freaking cool it is that I ever didn't have to do those things. The USOC used to be just a dream of mine, in some vague, foggy place in the future. But now it's something that's very firmly in my life. I was there every day for five months, with all sorts of breaking news coming across my desk before it reached the general public. I was friends with the security guards and once even joked around with the CEO when we were in an elevator together (true story). And even though I'm not there anymore, it's now a place where I have friends, people who support me and want me to succeed and will help me stay in Colorado Springs because they don't want me to leave.

So instead of reminding me of everything I don't currently have, my visit was a great dose of perspective. It reminded me of everything I do have, put some pep back in my step and got me excited about all the possibilities the future holds.

I always try to avoid sounding too preachy (because god knows I am no more qualified about anything than anyone else is), but I want to encourage everyone to be grateful. It's SO SO SO easy to miss the forest for the trees (hello, been there, done that, will probably do that again), but I'm really liking this whole appreciation thing. It's so much happier to be positive and thankful... and good things definitely happen when you put good vibes out to the universe. :)

A Reality Check and Giving Thanks

What's this?! A blogger being thankful two days AFTER Thanksgiving?! Stop the freakin' presses!

It's been a really strange few weeks. I'm at that point where worry about my impending unemployment has me stressed and paralyzed with fear, and I've been kind of cranky and surly and liable to either want to bite peoples' heads off or curl into a ball and cry (hooray, real life!). But last Sunday, someone I used to work with at Miami passed away. We didn't know each other very well, but... jeez, he was 20. And on Monday, I got word that a coworker's wife was suddenly in critical condition in the hospital.

Talk about getting some perspective, huh?

I originally wasn't going to write a thankfulness post because I figured it'd just blend in with the millions of others out there in blogland. But in light of Siah's death (and the fact that I hate Black Friday), I decided to take some time and appreciate a few things I'm thankful for. Because there's nothing like a reminder of the brevity of life to make you appreciate yours all the more, even after the day you're "supposed to" be thankful.

I'm thankful for this wonderful, weirdo family I'm a part of.

I'm thankful for this little feathery jerk.

I'm thankful to have a job I'm going to absolutely hate to leave.

I'm thankful for the people I've met this year, and the friends that never fail to put a smile on my face.

I'm thankful for being a Cane.

I'm thankful for the amazing experiences I've had.

I'm thankful that that my favorite holiday lived up to all expectations. Being home is a wonderful thing.

(I'm also thankful that my mom took pictures on Thanksgiving, made a collage out of them and will be totally okay with me stealing it. 'Cause I'm a terrible blogger and don't take enough pictures, hollaaaa.)

And if you're reading this, I'm thankful for you, too. :)

So if you're upset about how your Black Friday shopping went (or even if you're not), take a minute to think about a vibrant, athletic kid whose life was cut short and suddenly none of your problems seem all that serious. Life is pretty good.

Happy (semi-belated) Thanksgivukkah!

#GladToBeHere

Flash back with me, if you will, to the spring of 2012.

I was studying abroad in London, topped-up Oyster card in my wallet and an email saying, "hey, we'd like you to volunteer with London 2012 Ceremonies all the way through the end of the Paralympics!" in my inbox. Life was good.

And then reality happened. My student visa expired in June, which meant I would no longer be allowed to work and would have to leave the country. I attempted to get a work visa, which you need a sponsor (aka your employer) to sign off on, only to find out that L2012C didn't sponsor visas. I went to the U.S. embassy for help and was literally turned away at the door (thanks a ton, America). So I grudgingly packed my bags and bid a tearful adieu to my hopes of working at the London 2012 Olympics.

It sucked. Goooood times.

Now, let us return to the present. As I'm not working or interning for the USOC (*pointed look in their direction*), I applied to be a volunteer with them at the USA House during the Sochi Olympics. The USA House is basically the USOC's hospitality center during the games, for sponsors, athletes, athletes' families, etc.

It's where Shaun White meets Wayne Gretzky. Because, y'know, why not? [via]

It's also where Jim Craig speaks to the media in front of a GIANT CHALK MURAL (!!!) that was also signed by Bonnie Blair, Peggy Fleming, Scott Hamilton, Dan Jansen... [via]

Basically, it sounds like the coolest gig ever. And as of very recently, there's an email in my inbox that says, "hey, we'd like you to come to Sochi and volunteer with us!" Super cool, right?

Welp. Reality, once again, kicked me in the shins. Round trip flights to Sochi are almost $2,000, Russian visas cost $305, and the USOC doesn't cover any of its volunteers' expenses. So that means I'd have to find a hotel to stay in (HA) for three weeks (DOUBLE HA), as well as pay for transportation to and from Olympic Park and meals (and the exorbitantly expensive souvenirs, because let's be real). Basically, if I wanted to get myself to Sochi and stay in a hotel -- not going anywhere else, not eating anything, and not buying souvenirs -- that would cost me a cool $5,000. And that's a conservative estimate.

Considering I, a) make minimum wage, which is barely enough to cover my living expenses, b) don't have five grand to my name, and c) am biding my time before student loans come and hit me like a truck...

For the second time in under a year and a half, I have the opportunity to volunteer at the Olympics, and have to turn it down.

How. Is. This. Even. POSSIBLE?

I feel like this is becoming a joke. Applies for USOC internships for four straight years? Rejected. Tries to volunteer at London 2012? No visa. Tries to volunteer at Sochi 2014? No money. That's funny, universe. Reeeeeally funny. At this point I think it'd be easier to become an Olympic athlete and get there that way.

I could totally rock those pants and be a curler, right? PyeongChang or bust! [via]

But I'm not here to whine. (Well, okay, I'm here to whine a little bit, because... I mean, seriously? Seriously?) This whole situation has made me take a step back, take a deep breath and appreciate what I'm doing and what I have.

Since being out here in Colorado Springs, life has sort of fallen into a rhythm, and it's really easy to lose perspective of how freaking cool this all is. But sometimes I'll be returning to the OTC from work, and there'll be tourists posing in front of the Olympic rings that I see so often it's become routine. Or I'll be eating lunch on a Saturday and spot a tour group being led around outside. And just the other day, when a shooting coach asked me what I was here for, his response to hearing that I'm an intern was, "Oh, so you're someone, huh?"

It's interesting going back and reading my old posts about how badly I wanted what I have right now. Two and a half years ago (omg) I wrote this post that says:

And being vocal about my passion will one day lead to blog entries written from inside one of the Olympic training centers as I eagerly await the start of my internship.

I'm kind of impressed with myself, to be honest. Granted, things didn't happen exactly how I pictured them, but I came pretty damn close. And then there's the added benefit of being the resident ceremonies expert during London 2012, and the resident volleyball expert when Rio 2016 finally rolls around! Working for an NGB is incredibly cool, as is working for an organizing committee. Had everything happened the way I originally wanted it to, I might not have gotten the chance to learn this firsthand.

So even though I'm about to decline yet another awesome volunteer experience (just allow me one more moment of bitterness), what I have been able to do has been 100% amazing. And I couldn't be any more #gladtobehere. (Hashtag credit goes to the awesome Chris Yandle! [Twitter//blog])

And hey, now I can put the $2,000 I won't be using on airfare towards buying souvenirs! I think that two grand will be able to buy me one t-shirt and a pen.