My (Totally Fake) Fantasy Baseball Team

GUYS, guess what! I asked and I have received: there's another baseball link-up. [praise hands emoji]! So you're going to have to deal with me talking baseball once a month until the season ends (which really shouldn't be a problem, because you've dealt with me talking hockey once a week since July. Not even sorry).

This week's prompt is to create a pretend fantasy baseball team. I've never played a fantasy sport in my life, and I don't totally get it. Can you just pick players from any team? any division? How do you get points? What's the deal? So I'm totally personalizing this for myself, and making it more about, 1) rooting for my favorite players, and 2) finding new players to root for and potentially fall in love with. I'll be restricting myself to three teams: I'm a Mets fan living in Rockies territory whose favorite player is a Blue Jay. (LOL oh my god, help me.) Therefore I'll only be "drafting" Mets, Rockies and Jays, in an attempt to get attached to another Colorado team (because the Colorado Avalanche sure worked out for me this season, /sarcasm) and find more reasons to root for Toronto besides just RA Dickey (as if I even need another reason). And no points, because... seriously, how does that even work?

Whew. READY? Let's do this.

CATCHER: Travis d'Arnaud, NYM
Travis is my pick for three reasons: 1) He was an incredibly promising prospect, 2) it's too much fun to add d's to everything -- for example, d'Arnaud hit a d'Ouble and was d'Ominant. Sorry, I'm a child. And 3) the Mets acquired him in the trade that sent RA Dickey to the Blue Jays. So basically, the dude needs to make that trade worth it. No pressure.

FIRST BASE: Lucas Duda, NYM
Duda is my dude. (Ha.) Last season he led the Mets in home runs and RBIs. And he reminds me of the good ol' days, when the Mets had Ike Davis and Justin Turner and Jose Reyes and RA Dickey... he's the last of my boys that's left. Well, him and David Wright, but David's never going anywhere so he doesn't even count. So yes. Lucas Duda. I'm all about it.

SECOND BASE: DJ LeMahieu, COL
Is it so wrong to pick a player solely because you like his name? Lol, sue me. I'm a sucker for a good name, and DJ has always held my interest because of his. LeMahieu. Excellent.

SHORTSTOP: Jose Reyes, TOR
My man Jose used to be a Met, and I. MISS. HIM. ...Yeah, that's really it. Also, when he runs it looks like someone hit fast forward. He's super fun to watch.

THIRD BASE: Nolan Arenado, COL
Okay, listen, I'm going to be rooting for David Wright anyway. And again, with the name thing... my brother's name is Nolan. It's a rare enough name that whenever I hear it I assume someone's talking about my brother (people with unique names, you feel me on this? I've decided that nobody else is allowed to be named Darci). ANYWAY, I've low-key paid attention to Nolan for this reason already, so might as well!

LEFT FIELD: Michael Cuddyer, NYM
First of all, his nickname is Cuddy. Second of all, he was traded to the Mets from the Rockies, so he checks two boxes. And third, people were blasting the Mets for spending so much money to get him because they think he won't produce enough to make his contract worth it. And I'm just DYING for him to prove the haters wrong! (Also, he seems like a great guy.)

CENTER FIELD: Charlie Blackmon, COL
Charlie is one of five players to ever get six hits, five RBIs and four extra base hits in a single game. Bro. And apparently he's super analytical and hard-working and focused, so he sounds like my kind of dude. Also, THAT BEARD. I'm so here for it.

RIGHT FIELD: Jose Bautista, TOR
Jose follows me on Twitter, and his handle is @JoeyBats19. Joey Bats. That is adorable. He also wrote a really good piece for The Player's Tribune and is, y'know, kind of good at baseball.

STARTING ROTATION:
1. RA Dickey, TOR
See this post. I mean, was this ever a question? Lol, bye.

2. Matt Harvey, NYM
The Dark Knight has returned. He's the hero Gotham deserves, and is most definitely the one it needs right now. Not putting Matt Harvey on my team would be Mets fan sacrilege.

3. Jacob deGrom, NYM
He's a phenomenal pitcher (2014 NL Rookie of the Year!), was brought up through the Mets farm system, is another one with a great name (I mean, deGrom pitching and d'Arnaud catching? Please. It's deGreatest. Or d'Greatest). And I'm willing to bet he has the sickest flow in all of baseball.

4. Daniel Norris, TOR
He's a rookie that still, apparently, lives in his ancient Volkswagen van. Seriously. RA Dickey also once called him "young Padawan." That's enough of a seal of approval for me!

5. Eddie Butler, COL
Because he's got a ginger beard, and he didn't know he was on the final Rockies roster until literally the last game of spring training (and the Rockies haven't lost in either of his two starts so far this season). He also looks like a huge dork. I think I'll like him. ;)

RELIEVERS:
1. Brett Cecil, TOR
Every team needs a closer, and this guy? He wears glasses. Any athlete that plays with glasses on is an automatic favorite. Wild thing, I think I love you. (Anyone? Bueller?)

2. Boone Logan, COL
Boone used to be a Yankee, and I would like to support him in all of his non-Yankee endeavors. Also, his name is Boone Logan. Killer.

Wow, this was exhausting. I was about ready to skip the relievers entirely (because who needs a bullpen, honestly? KIDDING). How do people draft from the full league? Looking at three depth charts was more than enough work for me, holy cow. So yeah, I look forward to angsting over these guys for the next few months (if it's possible to look forward to angst?) and hopefully ending up with some new favorite players!